Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The Way I See Fit

So, the last time I checked, I'm a girl. I'm as typical a mom/wife/chic as any artsy person can be. So why oh why is it that I hate (and I mean with the fire of a thousand suns) shopping? Oh sure, window shopping occasionally is fine. I even like to load and unload online shopping carts ala Stephanie Mansueto. But when it comes to the real deal, the actual trying on and purchasing of garments, I want to run screaming from the strip mall.

I like pretty things, I like to look at them and touch them. And I'm pretty happy body-wise with myself these days. Could I lose a few more? Sure. But all in all, I don't have a bad body image. So with the combo of these two positives, how could clothes shopping be such a negative? Its due to the tweaking and shifting of standard sizes by clothing companies to make you feel better about yourself. One label will shorten their "regular" length to play to the just over petite crowd. Another will make their long really really long for... well, I'm not sure why. I'm 5'9. I shouldn't drown in a long when the average height for an American woman is about 5'4. And let's just touch for a moment on the subject of "rise." I don't want to wear jeans that are Erkle-licious. Whenever I try on jeans my mind wanders to the "Mom-Jean" skit from SNL.

HOWEVER, I don't need my arse crack to show. Low rise is for the thin and fit. I know this and don't go there. But there has to be a happy medium between low rise and under-the-booby jeans. This is where mid rise is supposed to work out, right? Not so much. Mid rise jeans (on me) tend to either expose the top of my arse or squeeze my hipbones to bruising. When I trying a larger size, I take two steps and they're around my ankles. *Sigh*

Aside from the pant problems, there are issues in the skirt, top and undergarment departments as well. With skirts, it seems you either need to be in your 20's or living in a nursing home. Due to heredity and child bearing, my upper legs are a bit of a road map of veins, so minis are out. That does not, however, mean that I want to be covered to mid shin. *double sigh* Tops typically fit well through the body at medium, but if I forget once and put them in the dryer, keeping in mind that I ALWAYS dry on low heat, the sleeves become 3/4 length. I'm not gonna touch the subject of bras, because if you are female and reading this, you can fill in just as many, if not more horror stories than I can provide.

My solution? "Large" activewear tops, designer pants, and screw wearing skirts. Designer pants just fit better. I hate to admit it as I'm as frugal as the day is long, but a good Calvin Klein cord is going to fit me 1000 times better than an Old Navy one. For the first time in my life, I finally see the benefit in paying more for a better label. They hug my curves without hip strangulation or danger of mooning the neighbors. The tops are less a department store's definition of activewear and more a yoga style top that is fitted through the body. I get length in the sleeve without looking like I'm styling the latest Hefty-bag. As for skirts? I crawl after a 10 month old all day. Who am I kidding?

Finally, the bra situation. Well, that's enough material (or lack there of) for an entirely separate post. Stay tuned!


  1. Chris and I got into a conversation a few days ago about my jeans. They are relatively high, I guess. He thinks that I should be wearing low-rise jeans... like this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Low-rise_jeans
    But seriously.. I am a Mom.. thats not going to happen. I am not a girl anymore....

  2. You know, I've always wondered how jeans that low stay up on anyone... Glue? Staples? Nail gun?

  3. They don't stay up.. thats why their asses are always showing.


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